So using media queries and HTML, I can create a Contact Us link for "desktop" and "mobile". The desktop is an href="mailto:" and the mobile is href="tel:", and it switches between the two at around 480px (using display: block/none). Of course, this would only work for those clients that are <style> compatible, since it relies on the media query to switch.

Oh what I would give for inline queries! So does anyone have any brainstorms for a "bulletproof" way to code this? Or am I stuck with limited capability until our cough*wonderful*cough email clients decide to get with the technological times?